Y'know, a town with money is like a mule wit. Marge: But Main Street's still all cracked and broken! Throw up your hands and raise your voice! Lyle Lanley: Take my pen knife, my good man. Lyle Lanley: No, good sir, I'm on the level.Ĭhief Wiggum: The ring came off my pudding can. Lyle Lanley: You'll all be given cushy jobs. Lyle Lanley: Not on your life, my Hindu friend. Lyle Lanley: It glides as softly as a cloud.Īpu: Is there a chance the track could bend? Miss Hoover: I hear those things are awfully loud. (crowd chants 'Monorail' softly and rhythmically) I'll show you my idea! I give you the Springfield Monorail! (audience gasps) I've sold monorails to Brockway, Ogdenville, and North Haverbrooke, and by gum, it put them on the map! Lyle Lanley: All right, I tell you what I'll do. Mayor Quimby: Now wait just a minute! We're twice as smart as the people of Shelbyville! Just tell us your idea and we'll vote for it! And I come before you good people tonight with an idea. No one knows how he got it and danged if he knows how to use it! Lyle Lanley: Y'know, a town with money is like a mule with a spinning wheel. He than lifts up a water fountain, throws it at a window, jumps out and runs away) (Gives Homer a can of beer)īarney: I can't stand to see him like this. Useful people are starting to feel the pinch.Moe: I brought you a little present. Kent Brockman: Joblessness is no longer just for philosophy majors. Homer: Lisa, just because you’re ten feet tall doesn’t mean you can tell me what to do. Lisa: Dad, you shouldn’t wear glasses that weren’t prescribed for you! Homer: The sum of the square roots of any two sides of an isosceles triangle is equal to the square root of the remaining side!

I will not say “Springfield” just to get applause $pringfield (Or, How I Learned to Stop Worrying and Love Legalized Gambling) Waiter: Well open up the “stick with your wife” barrel. Waiter: Hey, we’re out of these new love cookies. Homer: “You will find happiness with a new love.” Oh! Even the Chinese are against me. Did you know Hogan had tunnels all over your camp? Homer: Colonel Klink! Did you ever get my letters?Ĭolonel Klink (Werner Klemperer): I’m not actually Colonel Klink. Homer: Foul temptress! I bet she thinks Ziggy’s gotten too preachy too. I want to sneak in a quick nap before lunch. Mindy Simmons (Michelle Pfeiffer): I can see I’m gonna love working with you. Homer: See, I got this friend named… Joey Jo Jo… Junior… Shabadoo. And then we’ll make him double it! What the hell was that? I probably shouldn’t have eaten that packet of powered gravy I found in the parking lot. Marge: I’m sure he’ll offer us a fair reward. We lost four more men on this expedition.Īpu: If you can think of a better way to get ice I’d like to hear it!īart: Hey Apu, this bag of ice has a head in it!Īpu: Ooo! A head bag! Those are chockfull of… heady goodness. Pilot: You’ve got to start selling this for more than a dollar a bag. Smithers: You want your bear Bobo, don’t you? And that rare first draft of the Constitution with the word “suckers” in it. The only existing nude photo of Mark Twain. Smithers: Look at all the wonderful things you have, Mr. Lisa: I’d like to believe that this time. Homer: I’ll never wiggle my bare butt in public again.

Joey Ramone: Go to hell, you old bastard! Some nerds of note include popcorn magnate Orville Redenbacher, rock star David Byrne, and Supreme Court Justice David Souter. In fact they’ve done some pretty memorable things. Lisa: “List your three favorite books and how they’ve influenced your life.” I shall send you to Heaven before I send you to Hell.Ĭhief Wiggum: It’s a good thing you drifted by this brothel! Homer Goes to College Juror: No one who speaks German could be an evil man.īart: I was wondering if you could sing the entire score of the HMS Pinafore. Sideshow Bob (Kelsey Grammer): No! That’s German for “The Bart, The.” Lawyer: What about that tattoo on your chest? Doesn’t it say, “Die Bart, Die.”? Who’s someone you’ve been making irritating phone calls to for years? But I’m afraid there’s no law against mailing threatening letters. Lisa: The FOX network has sunk to a new low.īart: But who’d want to hurt me? I’m this century’s Dennis the Menace.Ĭhief Wiggum: I’d like to help you, ma’am. The Be Sharps perform on a building rooftop Now all we needed was the approval of record company lowlifes.īart: What’d you do? Screw up like the Beatles and say you were bigger than Jesus? This is a time I could be working, Mommy. Now people will stop intentionally ramming our car. Homer: “There was nothing in Al Capone’s vault.

But that seems less funny each time you say it. Skinner: We need a name that’s witty at first. Man: I doubt my son or daughter is that stupid. Marge: Your teenage son or daughter will think this wishbone necklace is really cool. Homer: Junk … junk… the airplane’s upside down. User Review 0 ( 0 votes) Homer’s Barbershop Quartet

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